Being Grounded is Good and All But...

I'm calmed by the peacefulness that being "grounded" provides.  That feeling of being home and wrapped in a Snuggie of familiarity, ahhhh, who doesn't enjoy that?

For me, finding that peacefulness was as unattainable as that damned brass ring on the Merry-Go-Round at Pier 39 (such a tease for short chicks, just sayin').  Until this point, I actually thought that I was grounded whenever I was surrounded by my friends, doing old school stuff.  You know, back when I was cooler, cuter, and the "real" me.  It's beyond ridiculous to think these past 30 years have had zero impact on the "real" me and that I was all I'd ever be back in my cute high school days.  Sigh...  I now realize that I've had it all wrong and it's actually locations, places I've been, that ground me.  Places that push the breath right out of me, creating the most delightful exhalation.  Places free of agony or defeat.  That. That is what grounds me.

I need more than peacefulness, though.  I'm excited to chase all the incredible, hot, sexy, delicious experiences and feelings now.  I'm finally able to allow myself to be swept off my feet by people who continue to love me.  My people.  My family, my Bestie, my boyfriend.  I swoon every time they make me laugh to tears, speak words of kindness or hilarious vulgarity, and when they just "get" me.  A bajillion bubble hearts pop up above my head on a daily because of them, it's become my new addiction.

Of course, as it happens time and again without welcome, I'll just accept and set a place at the table for whatever it is that may destroy me. This as-yet-to-be-unveiled, requisite never fails to make an appearance and thus, shall be seated amongst it's nemeses. Kinda like The Wonder Twins if they weren't so freakin' adorable...It'll always be something, in some shape or form, it's just the way it is.

So, I'll keep the supplies, tools, equipment on hand so that I can rebuild as I always do.  I've no use for a drafting table as I won't be drawing up any plans.  Rebuilding, according to a preconceived vision, hasn't really worked all that well for me so I'll just go with it knowing that I've been crushed, shattered, obliterated and I'm still here.

There's a security, an absence of risk, with being grounded that I adore, and often crave.  I'm just fully prepared to stumble and fall, more likely to crash and burn, during moments when my feet touch the ground and life's bullshit demands attention.  It's totally worth the fall just to have the bubble hearts pop up all around me.

C.