Waiter, waiter!!

Waiter, waiter!

Wow, I don’t mean to complain because I know you have a tough job as it is but seriously, THIS is NOT what I ordered. I know my friend here is doing the eye roll but pay no attention, this must be brought to someone’s attention.

No, what I ordered was...where’s that menu again…
Anyway, I believe I ordered the main course to be the family combo something or other. It came with like two happy, well-adjusted kids, a humble home filled with shared emotions, which I believe included happiness and a generous drizzling of love.

Of course, I would never expect anything to simply be handed to me on this, or any other, lovely silver platter. I worked before I walked in here and I’ll work to foot this enormous bill. But, c’mon. A little of the drizzle please?? One happy child and the other well-adjusted, would be palatable. I’m not difficult, at least I didn’t think I was.

Anyway, is there something we can do here? Please, please don’t offer to comp the bill or bring a free dessert. In many ways, I’ve already paid, and those offerings are of no value to me whatsoever. I only want what I walked in here for, that’s all.

What? You have to get a manager? We have to go there, do we? Well, give him or her a heads up that ol’ girl at table 6 here has been off her meds and this is a long time coming. Just sayin…

Oh, and no worries, your tip isn’t going to be affected. In fact, I can give you a tip on just about anything you want to ask me! So, I’ll comp you on that!

By the way, what’s on the dessert menu? Just in case…

C