Dear Santa:

This Christmas I want a "Healing Machine". You know, one of those machines that make that horrendous noise when you insert your parking stub and, in the instant after that noise stops, your ticket is magically validated!

Now, I don't want this glorious machine for my parking stubs. Oh no, no, I want this for all of the other things that I feel need validation.

You see, it seems that I have been seeking validation, often unknowingly, all of my life. It continues to dangle in front of me like the proverbial carrot. I chase it until my exhaustion forces me to surrender. Ultimately, I become hungry, once again, for that delectable carrot. I chase it again and again, thus, the tireless pursuit ensues.

What I'm saying is that I'm tired, Santa. Not from a delightful Ambien tablet or the knowledge that I did something wonderful with my life today. I'm just plain tired.

I'm tired of reaching for the nearest scrap of cloth to cover my raw, exposed self after I've just reopened some unhealed wound to someone, or no one, without receiving the simplest validation that it is, to me it is, a wound.

Instead, I want to write it out or print it out and slide it into that miraculous machine and pull it right back out with "VALIDATED" in bright red Arial Font (or whatever typestyle you have in stock).

I have been good this year, Santa, and knowing that I'm validated whenever the situation calls for it will make me even better in the coming year. I promise!

But, if this request is too large...I would settle for a self-inking stamp!

C.

I Just Need A Little...

I don't need much, I just need a little...

I need a little inspiration today, possibly from one of these little quotes that I have scribbled on one of the bajillion (that's a lot, by the way) Post It notes that border my desk.

I need a little time to clear my head of the racing thoughts of what, when, who, where, and how the hell??

I need a little attention, whether it's given by myself or received from someone else. Somehow, my needs seem to have been lost somewhere between this grocery shopping trip and the last. I guess I should've put them on the shopping list...

I need a little understanding. Unfortunately, that would require me to fully divulge my feelings, situation, etc. so that's just not going to be happening right now.

I need a little passion. In my work, with another, for life as a whole, or all of the above.

I need a little stability. Period.

It seems as though I need much after all!

C.