Be Happy, Just Don't Be Gay...

So, the next time you dream about your children and what you wish for them, I want to know what you really wish for. I want someone to tell me what it is they wish for their children to have in their lives. Is it a good job, a respectable husband/wife, adorable children free of special needs. What?

I can tell you what I've always wished for mine. Maybe out of the norm but I've never had a single vision of my children in a particular occupation. Never. I've never thought or wished that a doctor, a lawyer, or a preacher they would become. No, not even once. The only two things, and I mean the only two things I've ever wished for my children is to live up to their potential (whatever that may be) and happiness. Not drug-induced, wreckless-behavior kind of happiness. Rather, happiness that does not impose upon the happiness or well being of others. Happiness that you can see when they walk through the door for Sunday dinner. Happiness that shines through their eyes, the same eyes of that little toddler running around in footy-pajamas squealing with delight before bedtime. Happiness that they can accept because they know they're worth it and they can embrace because they have been embraced themselves during their lives. That's it. That is the only thing I've ever wished for my children. Everything else is secondary and I really don't care one way or the other about it all. If they're living paycheck to paycheck and getting their electric shut off every other month, I'd be frustrated, but if they laughed instead of cried about it, I'd know they'll be just fine. I'd even hand them the money to have it turned back on...maybe.

But, I've never said to my children during any conversation about future, past, present or hypothetical "I want you to be happy, just don't be gay". I've never suggested to my children that being gay isn't really being happy and that they would never have a real marriage, if they ever wanted one, because they say that a marriage has been defined between a man and a woman. Even though Merriam Webster's Dictionary has it defined as: (2) the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.

No, you'll never hear me say anything like that to my kids. I can be true to that, I assure. I find this to be the worst kind of set up for any child, or adult, for that matter. To lead your child down a path of "you can be whatever you want to be" just so long as it adheres to what is defined as right and wrong by whomever creates these definitions (probably the same as those who create street names...).

How mean spirited does one have to be to do that to their own child to the point that many suicides are the end result. Is that seriously worth it? Who cares??!! Stop trying to micro manage your kids' future and just embrace it all. This is it! That footy-pajama-wearing-squealing-toddler is the same one you look at now. Would those squeals of delight been less enjoyable had you known they would be in a same-sex relationship? You can't even tell me those footy-pajamas would look less adorable on a homosexual toddler because they're just toddlers, right? Their just little kids, right? Their just your kids right? Well, if that is your biggest worry or issue with your kids, then you've done something really right. If your child can look into their future with everything ahead of them being a challenge and say "I'm ready!", you've empowered them and made them feel like they can be anything. That is unconditional love. Stop talking about it, stop charging for it...just give it!

C

What's Good Enough?

Many times I have reflected on those days where I just didn't feel good enough. I've looked into my future and wondered if I ever will be. But, today I don't really care because this life is just not good enough. Not today.

Not any particular reason. Nothing I'll be doing about it either. No, I'll just complain and revel in that for a bit until it gets just as old and tired as my unjustified complaints.

C

I'm ready!

I just woke up from a dream, a previous life, whatever, but I'm awake and I'm ready for anything!

Oh yes, I'm ready for whatever this day has to offer, or throw my way.

I'm ready to look in the mirror and see the new me, if only those damn kids didn't break my glasses! I said "DON'T TOUCH"!

I'm ready to fold the laundry and put it away, once it's washed.

I'm ready to pay my bills on time, if I've got enough money in the bank.

I'm ready to be a millionaire and host charity events, ooh, is that the Publisher's Clearing House van that just passed by?!

I'm ready, I tell you, I am R-E-A-D-Y!

I'm ready to not only appreciate the beautiful sky, but define it's color, if I can find the perfect match in my son's box of Crayolas.

I'm ready to make amends, if it isn't too painful.

I'm ready to hear words of wisdom, so long as they're not completely idiotic.

I'm ready for religion, just don't make me change my beliefs.

Really, I'm ready!

I'm ready to be a stay-at-home-mom (s.a.h.m for those of us in the know...), after I wrap up the interviews of prospective applicants to rear my business.

I'm ready to be sympathetic, I just need you to stop whining first!

I'm ready to devour a wholesome, healthy salad and enjoy it in ectasy, when it's French-Silk-Pie-flavored.

Man, I'm so stoked! I just want to jump up and down and scream it for all to hear, "I'm ready for anything!". Maybe we should define anything before we go any further. But, I am ready, I can feel it!

C

Here Goes!

Okay, I've been given the nudge to start a blog to puke out all this crappity crap that crowds my head so much so that my ears get all waxy. I think all that waxy crap is the irrelevant and stupid information trying to escape. Maybe that's why I find it just as gross to pick your ears as it is to pick anything else. Don't pick it!

So, in an effort to at least maintain good hygiene, here goes!

I think I should preface this by saying that this first entry may be very brief (not my norm, I assure) as I have indulged in a half tab of God's gift (the pharmaceutical God, that is...) of Ambien. Oh, how I worship those Gods as they make their magical, wonderful concoctions in those pristine white lab coats glancing at me as if they know so much more about me and my needs than I even know myself. Surely, it's just paranoia. Maybe there's a pill for that. Surely, they cannot hear the rhetorical questions that float around my brain. Questions about why they still haven't filled my order when no other customer is around and they are 3 people over-staffed. I know they're over-staffed because whenever there is time to discuss recipes at work, I'm quite certain someone needs to be sent home. Did I say that out loud? Did they hear that? Oooh, I hope not! I always think those are just the voices in my head. Hmmmm...maybe there's a pill for that.

Anywho, I do so love my pharmacy Gods. They have the capability to calm my children which, in turn, keeps them safe from harm (a.k.a. Mom). They have the ability to mix up a batch of just about anything to make anyone feel better at any given time in their life. Is there no halo that comes with that lab coat? I'm a believer, and I believe I see a halo.

I wonder...how could one ever date a pharmacy God? Would it really be his personality you were after? Doubt it. No, not the sexy lab coat either. I think once he's explained the intriguing dynamics *yawn* of how he creates a batch of something magically delicious you would have to be supportive and ask for just one teeny-tiny sample....or two. More than that requires a prescription? Wwhhhaaat???? Are you serious right now?! I mean, c'mon! It's not like I have to have a pill to retain this euphoric appearance whilst I sit through another informative conversation about you. People like that create people like me! Time to move on and leave him with that, "it's not me ~ it's YOU!" speech. You God of all things pharmaceutical!! I pray to you, I believe in you (especially when you give me that stuff) and now you treat me as if I'm some kind of needy, sinner! Makes me want to nail you to a cross and strip you of your lab coat! Ahhh....you'd think they'd take a dose themselves and stop being so damn bitchy! Oh, but I love them so! I'm torn! I don't want to mumble any negativity too loudly for fear that they'd give me that old line "we need a pre-authorization, it'll take 2-3 business days" and then I'm stuck with my unmedicated kids during Spring Break and nothing good can come of that.


No, I'll just smile as I look downward so as to avoid that blinding light from the angelic halo that floats above them like a buoy in the water.

Well, time to sign off, there are prayers to be said to those Gods who impact my life as they do!

C