I had a little yellow hat when I was 9 years old. I hated hats. I hated yellow. I hated hats even more than I hated yellow.
I had no need for a hat, they pushed my bangs into my eyes and made me itchy. But, this hat was okay because it had a round patch on the front embroidered with "I'm the Greatest!".
When I was 9, I believed I was the greatest even before I got this hat. So, of course, it must be just for me!
I put that hat on once and was stopped 3 steps out my bedroom door, by my future step-father. Standing in front of me as if I wasn't there, he and my Mother discussed the absurdity of such a hat.
"You can't let her wear that", he said.
"It's cute!", she said.
"She can't go around being so conceited, that's ridiculous. Go take it off", he said.
I never wore that hat again nor did I ever believe that I was the greatest, or even a little bit great. I wonder who I would be if I was allowed to believe that I was the greatest all these years.
C
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You would have went on to be a proud mother, a great photographer, and a wonderful friend to many who love you! AND that's exactly what you have become. Your stepfather and his twisted view does not define you, he was merely a hiccup in your twisted childhood. You are a provider, a woman who NEVER gives up, and a VERY beautiful soul and yellow makes you sad. Who cares..... they didn't, but YOU do and that's all that matters!! You would never cause such pain in a child or even mean to hurt a stranger! Fuck those people in your life and move on! We all love you and YOU should write a book!!!!!! SWP
ReplyDeleteJust now seeing these comments, thank you for the kind words.
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