Finding the Courage ~ by James Kavanaugh

Finding the courage to face some buried anxiety
as real as snakes and grizzly bears in an uncharted wilderness,
struggling in vain to recall a child's overpowering fear
still rooted deeply in my flesh
and, seemingly as impermeable as granite rocks.

When was that terrifying moment
that has left its shadows till now?

What was the dagger that carved a scar
never to be erased?

Was I seven or seventeen, infant or fragile adolescent?

Vainly I recall every angry, hurtful voice of childhood,
every silent attack of parent or peer, teacher or coach.

Who wounded me when my bones were too brittle
to bear the weight?
When my mind was too timid and unformed
to fight back?

How can I battle this elusive Hydra
with its hybrid and devouring teeth?

Will I carry the last of this struggle
to my grave?

Will it reappear to torture me at the very end?

Or, will the sun finally rise some glorious morning
and the roots of an ancient fear dissolve
like the disappearing night?

From the book Laughing Down Lonely Canyons