If I Knew Then, What I Know Now...

Among other things, if I knew then what I know now...

~ I would've been better to myself, been less self-depricating, and embraced the best and the worst of me.

~ I would've known that no measure of self-protection could keep me safe from my own self-destruction.

~ I would've known that even if it means scraping up the pieces of my shattered life, I need each one of those pieces to be whole. And, if I move forward, leaving even a single piece behind, I'll be searching for it my whole life.

~ I would've known that, good and bad, everything counts. I will ultimately, face the consequences or the benefits immediately and directly or by way of some winding, random path.

~ I would've known to disengage from hurtful people because even the pleasure they derive from my pain will never keep them happy.

~ I would've known that nothing could possibly fill this incredibly enormous void created by the selfishness of others.

~ I would've known that contorting myself to fit into someone else's perception of who I should be would never serve me well, as I am the one burdened with this disfigured soul.

~ I would've known that each moment doesn't need to be a milestone, rather a place, of which I am ever-present.


C.